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Cartoon By Rasandich's
2006/Images03/LookRadiocartoonLogo.gif
Television With No Borders
(You need the FREE QuickTime plug-in to view this A/V DSL clip,)

2006/imagestvinews/sunglassescartoon.gif

". . . Look Bill, I realize the lighting in the Studio is to much . . . But the boss says your sunglasses have to go . . . !"

See Donna Jeffries in "The Surf NBA100 Webcast"

TVI Magazine "WebSide Humor"
Cartoons Dan Rosandich

(Photo Caption)
----V ". . . IN an unrelated story . . . Dan Rather was once again attacked by unknown assailants outside CBS headquarters . . . one of them was heard yelling -- "What's the website, Kenneth?!"

(Photo Caption)
----V
Queen Mary / NBS100.com Webcast, Long Beach Harbor

"We Preserve The Moments"
JOKES FOR THE NEW YEAR
 
MORMONS AND CATHOLICS
A Catholic priest and a Mormon bishop found themselves sitting next to
each other on an airplane.
After a while, the priest turns to the bishop and asks, Is it still a
requirement of your faith that you are not to drink coffee?
The Mormon bishop responds, Yes that is still one of our beliefs.
The Catholic priest then asks, Have you ever had a cup of coffee?
Yes, says the Mormon bishop, I have to admit-on one occasion I did succumb
to temptation and tried a cup of coffee.
The Catholic priest nods in understanding and goes on with his reading.
A while later, the Mormon bishop speaks up and asks, Father, is it still a requirement
of your church that you remain celibate?
Yes it's still one of our vows.
The Mormon bishop then asks,
Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?
The Catholic priest replied,
Yes, Bishop, on one occasion, I was weak and broke my vow.
The Mormon bishop nodded understandingly for a moment.
A few minutes later he smiled, looked at the Catholic priest and then said,
A lot better than coffee, isn't it?
••••••••••••••••••••••••
IN-FLIGHT MEAL
It was mealtime during our trip on a small airline in the Northwest.
"Would you like dinner?"
The flight attendant asked the man seated in front of me.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
MY FIRST TIME
The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what she wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing my hands on her breast.
I remember my fear my fast beating heart
But slowly she spread her legs apart
And when I did it I felt no shame.
All at once the white stuff came
At last it's finished it's all over now
My first time ever at milking a cow.....
••••••••••••••••••••••••
REDNECKS
You're a redneck if...
-You have more fingers than you do teeth
-You cut your grass and find a car
-You consider Denny's a Fancy Resturant
-Your best Suit contains more than 5 colors
-Your age is higher than your I.Q.
-Your favorite pickup line is "Does this look infected to you?"
-You ask your wife wheather the spot on your neck is a boil or a mole
and she replies "Its a gummy bear."
-You have a family reunion and everyone in town shows up.
-You say "Watch this" everytime before you go to the hospital.
-Your wife and ex-wife are sisters.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
RASIN BREAD
A general store owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear
short skirts and thong panties.
One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances
at the loaves of bread behind the counter.
Noticing the length of her skirt [or general lack thereof and the location
of the raisin bread], he has a brilliant idea.
"I'd like some raisin bread please", the man says politely.
The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread,
which is located on the very top shelf.
The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with
an excellent view, just as he surmised he would be.
Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves
as he's having company for dinner.
As she retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers
notices what's going on.
Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to
enjoy the view.
With each trip up the ladder the young lady seems to catch the eye of another
male customer.
Pretty soon each male patron is asking for raisin bread, just to see her
climb up and down.
After many trips she's tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to
have to try this bread for herself!!!
Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men
standing below.
She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd staring up at her.
Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man,
"Is yours raisin too?"
"No," croaks the old man, "but it's starting to twitch".
••••••••••••••••••••••••
THE DOCTOR
A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw the man walking down the street with
a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
At his follow up visit the doctor talked to the man and said,
"You're really doing great, aren't you?"
The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doctor,
'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful'."
The Doctor said, "I didn't say that.
I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
THE COMPUTER BUSINESS
Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee:
"Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C:\\ prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it.
Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
PMS
A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of,
old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety
of the human experience could be found there.
After the service, he was approached by a woman who said,
"Preacher, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS."
The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere
and that he would look for it.
The following week after the service, the preacher called the woman aside
and showed her a passage which read,...
"...And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
THE RABBIT JOKE
A rabbit one day managed to break free from a laboratory where he had been born
and brought up.
As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under
his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.
'WOW! This is great,' he thought.
It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it
he saw a wonderful sight:
lots if other bunny rabbits - all free and nibbling at the lush green grass.
'Hey,' he called out. 'I'm a rabbit from the laboratory over there and
I've just escaped.
Are you wild rabbits?'
'Yes. Come and join us, ' they all cried out.
Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass.
It tasted so good.
'What else do you do wild rabbits do?' he asked.
'Well,' one of them said, 'you see that field over there?
Its got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them.'
This he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour gorging on the most succulent
carrots he had ever tasted.
'They are wonderful' he told his new friends.
Much later, he asked them again: 'What else do you do?'
'You see that field there in the distance?
Its got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well'.
The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned some hours later,
completely full of lettuce.
'Is there anything else you guys do?' he asked.
One of the other rabbits came close to him and spoke softly:
'There is one other thing you must try.'
Pointing to a bunch of rabbits in the far corner of the field,
he said 'They're girl rabbits.
We screw them. Go and try it.'
Well, our friend spent the rest of the afternoon screwing his little heart out
until, completely exhausted, he staggered back to his male friends.
'That was fantastic,' he panted.
'So are you going to live with us then?' one of the asked.
'I'm sorry. I had a great time. Believe me, but I can't'.
The wild rabbits all stared at him in amazement.
'Why? We thought you liked it here.'
'I do,' our friend replied. 'But I must get back to the laboratory....
I'm dying for a cigarette.'
••••••••••••••••••••••••
A JEWISH MOTHER
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going
to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess
which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits them down
on the couch and they chat for a while.
He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle."
"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
"Naturally, 'She's the only one I don't like'."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
BLONDE JOKE
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street.
They pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend
buying flowers.
She sighs and says,
"Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again....for no reason."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says,
"What's the big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"
The red head says,
"Oh sure.....but he always has expectations after giving me flowers,
I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back
with my legs in the air."
The blonde says "Don't you have a vase?"
••••••••••••••••••••••••
The FARMER
A salesman knocks on the farmer's door, and when he gets no answer,
he walks around to the back of the house.
There's the farmer with a cow's tail lifted up, planting a huge wet kiss
on the cow's asshole.
The salesman says, "Man, are you queer or what?"
The farmer says,
"No. I've got chapped lips, and it keeps me from lickin' em."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
TARZAN AND JANE
When Jane met Tarzan, she was attracted to him, and during her questions
about his life, she asked him how he had sex.
"Tarzan not know sex," he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said, "Oh, sex...
Tarzan use hole in trunk of that big tree."
"Tarzan you have it all wrong,...but I will show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground.
"Here" she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer, and then
gave her a kick right in the crotch!
Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.
Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed:
"What did you do that for?"
"Tarzan always check for squirrel."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
TWO OLD LADIES
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke,
when it started to rain.
One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end,
put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces
to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all,
over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
SUCCESS IS
At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is having sex.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is having money.
At age 60 success is having sex.
At age 70 success is having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is having friends.
At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
THE TEXAN
A Texan buys a round of drinks for all in the bar, because,
he announces, his wife has just produced "a typical Texas" baby boy
weighing 25 pounds.
Congratulations showered him from all around, as well as many exclamations
of a "WOW!" from the crowd.
Two women faint due to sympathy pains from just imagining the size
of such an infant.
Two weeks later, he returns to the bar.
The bartender says,
"Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds
at birth, how much does he weigh now?"
. The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
Puzzled, the bartender says,
"Geez, what happened? He already weighed 25 pounds at birth."
The Texas father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star beer,
wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,
"Had him circumcised."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
THE NEVER ENDING STRUGGLE
And God Created Man and Woman.
And then God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's.
And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger.
And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained many pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure
that man found so fair.
And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and
brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt.
And woman gained many pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese.
And there was ice cream for dessert.
And woman gained more pounds.
And God said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables
and olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth huge portions of chicken-fried steak.
And Man gained more pounds,
and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes,
and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control
so Man would not have to toil to change channels.
And Man gained even more pounds.
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat
and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center
into fries and chips and deep-fat fried them.
And he also created sour cream dip.
And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips and fries
loaded with fat and cholesterol.
And Satan saw and said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.....
And Satan laughed and created HMOs..
••••••••••••••••••••••••
THE VEGAS HOOKER
A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and he see's a knockout looking hooker.
He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker,
"How much do you charge?"
Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job."
Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job!
No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"
The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?"
"Yes."
"Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"
"Yes."
"And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"
"Yes."
"Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those.
And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."
The guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try."
They retire to a nearby motel.
A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced
the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500.
He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose head is $1,000?" The hooker replies, "$1,500."
"$1,500? My God! No head could be worth that.
The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy.
Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright.
And I own it because I give head that's worth every cent of $1,500."
The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job,
decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, "Sign me up."
Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before.
He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth.
He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience.
He asks the hooker, "How much for some sex?"
The hooker says, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you something.
Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us,
all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?"
"Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?"
"No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a vagina."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
THE ELDERLY COUPLE
An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was finally
time to marry.
Before the wedding, they had a long conversation regarding how their marriage
might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally the old man decided it was time to broach the subject of their
physical relationship.
"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather hopefully.
"Well, I'd have to say I like it infrequently," she responded.
The old guy paused... then he asked,
"Was that one word or two?"
••••••••••••••••••••••••
THE OPTICIAN
A guy goes to the opticians.
The Doctor tells him, 'You've got to stop masturbating!'
'Why Doc,' he asked, 'am I going blind?'
'No,' the Doctor explained,
'but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room!'
••••••••••••••••••••••••
THREE WOMEN
Three women are sitting naked in the sauna.
Suddenly there is a beeping sound.
The first lady presses her forearm and the beeping stops.
The others look at her curiously. "That's my pager," she says,
"I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rings.
The second woman lifts her palm to her ear.
When she finishes she explains,
"That's my mobile phone.. I have a microchip in my hand."
The third woman, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna.
In a few minutes she returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her butt.
The others raise their eyebrows.
"Oh excuse me she says, I'm getting a fax."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
CLOSING TIME
Sam was drinking all night at the pub.
The bartender finally tells him its closing time, so Sam stands up to go and
falls flat on his face.
He tries to stand up again but with the same result.
So he thinks to himself that he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air
and maybe that will sober him up a bit.
Once outside, he stands up and again falls flat on his face.
So he thinks, 'It's Very Late' and starts crawling home.
When he gets to his front door he tries once again to stand up,
manages to open the door but promptly falls straight back down on the floor.
He crawls in and quietly crawls up the stairs where he manages to pull himself upright
by his bed.
He crawls in and falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He wakes up the next morning with his wife standing above him shouting at him.
'So, you've been out getting drunk again, have you?'
Thinking he hadn't disturbed her coming in the previous night,
he puts on an innocent face and says
'What makes you say that, love?'
'Because the pub called.
You've left your wheelchair there again!'
PRIEST'S PARTYING
Father Joseph went up to Father Fred one afternoon and said,
"I am sick of all this clean living.
Tonight let's you and me go out and party.
We'll carouse, drink, whatever we want."
Fred was shocked.
"Are you crazy? This is a small town and everyone knows us.
Besides, even if they didn't, they would see our clothes and know
we were priests."
Joe said "Don't be silly. We won't stay in town, we'll go into the city
where nobody knows us, and we'll dress just like anyone else."
In the end, he managed to persuade Fred, and they went out that night
and partied like professionals.
When they got back home at 5:00 AM, Fred's face became pale.
"I just thought of something," he said. "We have to confess this."
Again, Joe was ready. "Relax, I told you, I thought this all out in advance.
Tomorrow, you go into church and into the confessional.
I will come in my regular clothes and confess, and you absolve me.
Then I go put on my garments, you come in and confess, and I'll absolve you."
Fred was amazed at Joe's brilliance.
And so, Joseph went in later that morning and said, "Father forgive me, for I
have sinned. My friend and I, we're both young men, and last night we went out
and caroused. We became drunk, had carnal knowledge of prostitutes,
used foul language, danced to wicked music."
Fred answered, "God is patient and forgiving, and thus shall I be.
Do 5 'Our Father's' and 5 'Hail Mary's' and you will be absolved of your sin."
A while later, their places were reversed as Fred came in and confessed everything
in detail.
There was a short pause, and Joseph answered,
"I don't believe this. And you DARE to call yourself a priest?
You will do 500 "Our Father's," 500 "Hail Mary's,"
donate all your money for the next month to the church,
and go around the church 500 times on your knees praying for God's forgiveness.
Then come back and we'll discuss absolution, but I make no guarantees."
"WHAT?!" Father Fred was shocked. "What about our agreement??"
Joe replied, "Hey, what I do on my time off is one thing, but I take my job seriously."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
DOGGY STYLE
Two old men were sitting in a bar, discussing their wives.
The first said, "Last night, I asked Myrna if we could try sex in a different position.
I wanted to try doing it doggy style."
"Doggy style? Did she go for it?"
"I'll say. I sat up and begged while she rolled over and played dead."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
NEW Added on 7/7/2002
BLACK BOXES
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged that they had
for the past five years covertly funded a project with US auto makers whereby
the auto makers installed black boxes in four wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort
to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 42 of the 50 states that the last words of drivers
in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!"
Only the states of West Virginia, Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama,
Texas, Oklahoma and Tennessee were different;
Over 92.3 percent of their final words were:
"Hold my beer and watch this."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
NEW Added on 7/6/2002
THE WHALE
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human
because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.
The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.
The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"
••••••••••••••••••••••••
NEW Added on 7/5/2002
CAR WRECK
A gay man was driving his sports car around the corner, when an eighteen-wheeler
pulled out of the alley and directly in front of his way.
The sports car plows into the truck and totally demolishes the front end of the sports car.
The gay man jumps out of the car, comes tearing around the side of the truck
where the truck driver is, and hollers,
"You did that on purpose! You just pulled right out in front of me!"
The truck driver says, "Suck my dick."
Waving his hands, "Don't try to sweet talk me out of it!!!
I'm really PISSED!"
••••••••••••••••••••••••
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping,
all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
••••••••••••••••••••••••
THE GENIE
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender can't help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large
muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange.
The bartender hands him the beer and says,
'You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique,
it's really phenomenal!
But I have a question why is your head so small?'
The big guy nods slowly.
He's obviously fielded this question many times.
'One day', he begins, 'I was hunting and got lost in the woods.
I heard someone crying for help.
I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream.'
'Really?' says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued.
'Kiss me, kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes.'
I looked around to see if I was alone and gave the frog a kiss.
POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful voluptuous naked woman
She said, 'You now have 3 wishes.' ,
I looked around at my scrawny 115 pound body and said,
' I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger.!'
She nodded and snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was so big that
I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!,
she then asked 'What is your second wish?'
'I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied,
' I want to make sensuous love with you by the stream'
She nodded, laid down and beckoned me.
We made love right there by the stream for hours!!
Afterwards, as we lay next to each other, she whispered in my ear,'
You know you have one more wish, what will it be?'
I looked at her and replied
'How about a little head?'
••••••••••••••••••••••••
Satisfaction
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked
his wife during a recent lovemaking session,
"How come you never tell me when you are fully satisfied?"
She glanced at him casually and replied,
"You're never home!"
LAWYER JOKE
Q. What does a lawyer and an apple have in common?
A. They both look nice hanging from a tree.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
 
All rights reserved.® TVInews©2002
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HOLLYWOOD BEAT"
By Larry Leverett & Donna Jeffries

------

///

 Respectfully
Donna Jeffries
Entertainment/Editor TVI Magazine
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